Since a good deal of this blog will be about mental illness (with a specific focus on men), I look for articles that broach the subject. So we’ll interrupt the Family Vacation Saga for an article from a magazine I never read: GQ.
|Who said that? The voices?|
Even with all my conditions, including liver disease, I’m convinced I’ve outlived my father (who was a Marine would could do fingertip push-ups) because I’ve not kept all that angst bottled up inside. I’ve let it out and made everyone suffer along with me.
|He’s all of them! Lord, help us!|
* Become obsessed and addicted to the source of their “high”, like not giving up a love affair, obsessively working long hours, an overly vigorous fitness regime, drinking too much alcohol. If you asked them to have a night off or change plans for it they would refuse or get angry about it.
Be clear you are open to listen, but don’t force the issue. This may lead to feelings of shame and they may cut you off. Be patient and be prepared to drop everything and listen if they decide to talk because you might not get another chance.
“Look, I want you to know I’m here for you. Let me know if it’s really important, OK?”
Don’t go into fix it mode and insist they see a counselor. Opening up to you is probably hard enough.
Because, yeah, why should he trust his wife? “You’re a beta, Frank. I thing our marriage is over.”
Don’t take away all of their tasks and responsibilities because this will make them feel even more useless. Instead offer to do it together so that you can support them rather than take over.
But men are stupid oafs! Don’t you watch TV? You HAVE to constantly help them! They’ll either kill themselves or buy the wrong toilet paper!
Be understanding of their behavior but do hold them to account if the behavior is unacceptable.
Never shame them for sharing their feelings.
Because their dads have already done that.
If all else fails, take out another life insurance policy.