Monthly Archives: August 2016

Born this Way

If you want to get the ‘personal responsibility uber alles’ people spinning like hot turret lathes, just mention, oh, pick any condition, and say the afflicted person was ‘born that way.’I’m tired of arguing with those people. Fuck ’em. I … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, depression, meds, middle age, mood swings, my father, regret, social anxiety, stigma | Leave a comment

Running out of bullshit

I performed one of my little Facebook experiments a week or so ago and just got around to writing it now. Part of me (and not my condition) is wrapping myself up in righteous indignation at what I see is … Continue reading

Posted in bullshit, depression, Facebook, society, suicide | Leave a comment

The Lost Weekend or Waiting for the Inquisition

Things seem to be getting worse lately with my condition and it’s beginning to scare me a bit because I realize what is going on but feel fairly helpless to stop it.  Just as an update: if you’ve been reading … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, bipolar, depression, existential dread, Kafka | Leave a comment

Requiem for my father

I think in a way my father was lucky to have succumbed of lymphoma at 51. Never mind, for the time being, that he was grossly misdiagnosed by a doctor who said the painful palpable lump on his neck was … Continue reading

Posted in growing up, men, middle age, my father | Leave a comment

One Way Out

I had a pretty heavy session with my shrink today. She agrees my job is killing me. She wants me to find a way to quit. I’m supposed to talk it over with my wife. I’m wondering what kind of … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, depression, NAMI, Police, shame | Leave a comment

How I Got Blacklisted by NAMI

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness, which is great place to build a career, if you know what I mean) has a program for the mentally unbalanced like me to go and give testimonies (and free advertising for NAMI). Unless … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, NAMI, shame | Leave a comment

The Default Emotion is ‘Meh’ — Life Without Passion

One of the problems with this mental condition is losing enthusiasm for things I used to enjoy. Over a period of time, I seem to have lost my former passions for the following: ’71 Ike non-silver dollar. Worth $1 but … Continue reading

Posted in depression, existential dread, getting old, meds, middle age, passion | Leave a comment