Hitting for the Cycle in BPD

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    Mike Trout hit for the cycle once. Look what they did to him. I would really HATE that. It’s like having an unexpected shower.

    In baseball, hitting for the cycle is the accomplishment of one batter hitting a single, a double, a triple, and a home run in the same game. Collecting the hits in that order is known as a “natural cycle” – Wikipedia





I have invented my own ‘Cycle.’ And here it is.

In one day when I:

  • Have a bout of anger/rage
  • Have an anxiety attack causing me to take Ativan
  • Experience tears for whatever reason or no reason
  • Have a period of disassociation

THAT, my friends is hitting for my personal cycle.

It has happened, thankfully about as frequently as it happens in baseball. And when it happens, at the end of the day, I’m non-functional. I know I will overeat. I know I won’t say very much to my wife. I know I won’t take a shower. And I know I will go to bed at or before 7 p.m. with the cocktail of Ativan and extra Z-Quil.

I also find that these days run at the end of stress cycles. I’m almost expecting one this week, due to the amount of running around and public events I will have to handle. Today, Monday, is the calm before the storm. I have a staff meeting (which is stressful enough) and a phone consultation (which should be less stressful) and then I leave early to see my analyst.

Note: I have tried not to use the word ‘shrink’ or even psychologist, preferring ‘analyst,’ since it sounds like someone overworked executives in New York would see.

Other people have shrinks and life coaches. I have an analyst.

Well, it makes me feel better about the whole thing anyway.

So at the end of this week, if I hit for the cycle it will come either Thursday or Friday. The only saving grace for me is that afterwards, I have a four-day weekend. I will need it.

Maybe my analyst can give me some guidance on merely hitting a few singles or one double rather the whole enchilada.

This entry was posted in anxiety, ativan, baseball, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, counseling, mood swings, New York City, psychoanalysis, PTSD and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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