Monthly Archives: April 2018

The Mystery of my Childhood OCD

There’s a part of my childhood I don’t talk about much, but I always wonder about it. My major diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. After a lifetime of misdiagnosis, I can accept that and work to mitigate what it does … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, existential dread, fear, growing up, hyper-vigilance, OCD | Tagged , | 1 Comment

A funny thing happened on the way to the communion rail. . .

I officially received my First Holy Communion (Catholic capitals) on April 17, 1971. I unofficially received it a few months earlier. And my mother damn near killed my dad over it. First, my mom was a cradle Catholic and a … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholic school, Catholicism, childhood terror, faith, fear, growing up, mental health, mom, my father, shame, When we were very young | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Paralyzed

So another day frozen to my desk not sure of what to do. My boss is back – she was sick yesterday and simply didn’t tell anyone. One of my co-workers emailed her in the morning and that’s the only … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, existential dread, fear, getting old, hyper-vigilance, mental health, self care, self-harm, shame, social anxiety | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Just who are the crazy people here?

What is ‘crazy’ anymore? Or even ‘disturbed?’ I recently came across this comment on a friend’s Facebook page: “I’m so happy Trump beat Clinton otherwise at this point everyone on planet earth would be nuked. We still may be, but … Continue reading

Posted in advice, bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, children, ImNotAshamed, mental health, Normies, shame, society, stigma | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

My intro in this week’s BPD Newsletter in The Mighty

Borderline Personality Disorder • April 17, 2018 A Photo Series About My Life With BPD The Unexpected Habit My Therapist Connected to My BPD 17 ‘Impulsive’ Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because of BPD Community Announcement: Hey BPD fam! Borderline … Continue reading

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Escape is impossible

My psychiatrist has recommended upping my daily dose of lamotrigine 50 mg. Why not? At my age I have been a 40-year experiment in the various effects of psychotropic medicine. What’s one little uppage of the dosage? She made this … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, Distractions, donald trump, existential dread, Facebook, fear, getting old, paranoia, self care, work | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Podcast 3: Emily Sheerer Cutler

  Podcast 3 is up at this link in Simplecast Interview with Emily Sheerer Cutler of MadinAmerica.com including two personal segments. Emily is concerned with the civil rights of people who are regarded as having mental illness. She opposes instances … Continue reading

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