Category Archives: anxiety

What I’m Giving Up

I had just written 400 words into an MS Word document for a post today explaining my previous post and it disappeared. I’m used to being disappointed at this stage of my life so I didn’t put my fist through … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholic school, death, fear, getting old, ImNotAshamed, mental health, my father, parents, regret, self care, shame, social anxiety, suicide | Tagged | Leave a comment

Cover me

It’s been difficult to adjust. I didn’t anticipate the nervousness, the fear, the anxiety. I guess it was from the loss of the familiar, or that I took the familiar for granted. It was supposed to be an adventure, this … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, depression, existential dread, fear, loneliness, meds, mental health, over-analyze, PTSD, social anxiety | Leave a comment

The Unbearable Heaviness of Meeting

I’ve been busy at work lately. I get home and I collapse. The work is actually ‘good’ work – going out, interviewing, taking photos, getting my stuff on Facebook. Good times, right? Not quite. Today we had a group of … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, self care, social anxiety, work | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Digging Underground

In the event of something happening to me there is something I would like you all to see It’s just a photograph of someone that I knew Rarely a day goes by that I don’t wake up with a song … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, existential dread, fear, loneliness, mental health, music, over-analyze, paranoia, society, stigma, suicide | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Origins of a Crippling Fear

I was talking to my supervisor this morning. She went on a family camping trip over the weekend and now is sore. Her family had struck out from their campsite, exploring the nature preserve and saw some interesting land formations, … Continue reading

Posted in Adventure!, anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, Fat Shaming, fear, getting old, growing up, my father, regret, social anxiety, Wonder Years | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Brain Busted

I was shaving my head the other night (you know, to get that cool bald look), when a thought struck me. Beneath this enormous dome of a head was a brain that plays tricks on me. My brain sometimes changes … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, depression, fear, getting old, mental health, middle age, mood swings, paranoia, self care | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Mystery of my Childhood OCD

There’s a part of my childhood I don’t talk about much, but I always wonder about it. My major diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. After a lifetime of misdiagnosis, I can accept that and work to mitigate what it does … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, existential dread, fear, growing up, hyper-vigilance, OCD | Tagged , | 1 Comment