Category Archives: anxiety

The Mystery of my Childhood OCD

There’s a part of my childhood I don’t talk about much, but I always wonder about it. My major diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. After a lifetime of misdiagnosis, I can accept that and work to mitigate what it does … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, existential dread, fear, growing up, hyper-vigilance, OCD | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Paralyzed

So another day frozen to my desk not sure of what to do. My boss is back – she was sick yesterday and simply didn’t tell anyone. One of my co-workers emailed her in the morning and that’s the only … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, existential dread, fear, getting old, hyper-vigilance, mental health, self care, self-harm, shame, social anxiety | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Escape is impossible

My psychiatrist has recommended upping my daily dose of lamotrigine 50 mg. Why not? At my age I have been a 40-year experiment in the various effects of psychotropic medicine. What’s one little uppage of the dosage? She made this … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, Distractions, donald trump, existential dread, Facebook, fear, getting old, paranoia, self care, work | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Making all his Nowhere Plans

“What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” ― Kurt Vonnegut On online writer friend recently wrote … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, books, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, factory of sadness, growing up, loneliness, mental health, middle age, regret, Social Media, society | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Hitting for the Cycle in BPD

In baseball, hitting for the cycle is the accomplishment of one batter hitting a single, a double, a triple, and a home run in the same game. Collecting the hits in that order is known as a “natural cycle” – … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, baseball, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, counseling, mood swings, New York City, psychoanalysis, PTSD | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

How I Finally Received My Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosis After 40 Years

My latest story has appeared on The Mighty (below). They wanted stories of how we came to our BPD diagnosis. In my case, it took a long time. FEBRUARY 5, 2018 Keith Gottschalk Contributor • 51 followers Follow Me Borderline Personality Disorder … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, depression, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, mental health, middle age, parents, PTSD, regret, stigma, The Mighty | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

My Depression Top Ten Hits

re-run of previous column for the latecomers. . .  It has become trendy among the various blogs and websites covering mental illness, to feature lists of songs that people play when depressed or play when they need to rally from … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, getting old, mental health, music, radio, regret, self care, self-harm | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments