Category Archives: ativan

Paralyzed

So another day frozen to my desk not sure of what to do. My boss is back – she was sick yesterday and simply didn’t tell anyone. One of my co-workers emailed her in the morning and that’s the only … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, existential dread, fear, getting old, hyper-vigilance, mental health, self care, self-harm, shame, social anxiety | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Hitting for the Cycle in BPD

In baseball, hitting for the cycle is the accomplishment of one batter hitting a single, a double, a triple, and a home run in the same game. Collecting the hits in that order is known as a “natural cycle” – … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, baseball, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, counseling, mood swings, New York City, psychoanalysis, PTSD | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Mick Jagger Bogarted My Meds

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. I may have mentioned it before but there are stretches where I’m literally incapable of writing anything. It’s not that the muse isn’t present, it’s just that the will is … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, bipolar, blogging, depression, lexapro, meds, mood swings | Leave a comment

OK, So I Lied

I’ve been nicely strong-armed back to a blogging group on Facebook in which we work to increase each other’s blog awareness. I’ve never been a part of such an effort but the people who run it, run it like schoolteachers. … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, bipolar, blogging, Facebook, mental health, Mental Health Month | Leave a comment

High Anxiety

The reactions to my Monday therapy experience have not gone away. This morning I was as nervous as I’ve been in many a month. I don’t get it. Maybe a therapist could tell me. For two weeks, I unpacked some … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, bipolar, meds, paranoia, PTSD | Leave a comment

Nightmares of my Father and other things

I must write this out because I fear if I don’t this day could be worse than I’d imagined. I already clawed my way out of bed 10 minutes late, had a cup of coffee and a small bowl of … Continue reading

Posted in Amy Bleuel, anxiety, ativan, bipolar, fear, my father, parents, PTSD, suicide prevention awareness, violence | Leave a comment

Psychiatry R Us

I went to see my drug pusher today. She has a nice office, of course, in a nice building and she has a lot of pretty professional plaques on the wall and a special chair given to her by the … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, bipolar, Browns, bullshit, depression, meds, mental health, psychoanalysis, stigma, suicide | Leave a comment