Category Archives: bipolar

On Turning 55

I turned 55 today.   I stood in a very cold garage smoking a high end cigar and drinking a maple bourbon and coke and listening to Sinatra’s ‘September of my Years’ and wondering what all my dead relatives would … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, birthday, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, fear, getting old, mental health, middle age, mom | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Distractify Me

One of the hallmarks of Dialectical Behavioral Theory (DBT), which is recommended for people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is distraction techniques. This can take many forms under many guises but simply put: it’s anything that takes your mind away … Continue reading

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BPD for me

OK my psychiatrist didn’t exactly lie. She was just ‘groping for a diagnosis.’ In my life, I’ve been diagnosed as following by a host of mental health professionals: Depression Major Depressive Disorder Incorrigible Asshole Dysthymia General Anxiety Disorder Mood Disorder … Continue reading

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Aftermath of a bad trip

I’m in the last day of a four-day break. I needed it. I had three interviews for a job out of state. The first two interviews were electronic, the last was on site in Missouri where the agency shelled out … Continue reading

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If

I have a lot on my mind today. Although I have been working out and lost weight, I am experiencing periods of lightheadedness and shortness of breath doing light work, like waxing the car. I have a doctor’s appointment Monday. … Continue reading

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Drowning slowly

Brain fog. Depression. Tiredness. All part of my world for the last 48 hours. I take the same pills every day. I go through the same routines every day. I have been working out and for a while, the endorphins … Continue reading

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September of my Years

One day you turn around and it’s summer Next day you turn around and it’s fall And the springs and the winters of a lifetime Whatever happened to them all? – Frank Sinatra I never thought about getting old until … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, Catholic school, fear, getting old, men, mental health, middle age, passion | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment