Category Archives: bipolar

Aftermath of a bad trip

I’m in the last day of a four-day break. I needed it. I had three interviews for a job out of state. The first two interviews were electronic, the last was on site in Missouri where the agency shelled out … Continue reading

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If

I have a lot on my mind today. Although I have been working out and lost weight, I am experiencing periods of lightheadedness and shortness of breath doing light work, like waxing the car. I have a doctor’s appointment Monday. … Continue reading

Posted in advice, bipolar, depression, existential dread, gratitude, mood swings, Rudyard Kipling, stigma | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Drowning slowly

Brain fog. Depression. Tiredness. All part of my world for the last 48 hours. I take the same pills every day. I go through the same routines every day. I have been working out and for a while, the endorphins … Continue reading

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September of my Years

One day you turn around and it’s summer Next day you turn around and it’s fall And the springs and the winters of a lifetime Whatever happened to them all? – Frank Sinatra I never thought about getting old until … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, Catholic school, fear, getting old, Lake Catholic, men, mental health, middle age, passion, Sinatra | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

An open letter to my dead father

Trigger warning: lots of them; read at your own risk. That young boy without a name anywhere I’d know his face.  In this city the kid’s my favorite.  I’ve seen him. I see him every day.  Seen him run outside … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, anxiety, bipolar, Catholic school, childhood terror, existential dread, growing up, mom, my father, parenting, parents | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Solitary Man

There’s a movement that’s been active for a number of years to get rid of solitary confinement. There are prisoners in America that are put in solitary for years and years. Eventually they go mad. This is not a secret … Continue reading

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Recovery is a myth

I always love going to the ‘hip mentally ill media,’ i.e. The Mighty, OC87 Recovery Diaries, etc., and reading these stories from media people about their ‘recovery’ from some mental illness or another. In the story, hyperlinked above, Liz Spikol … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, depression, meds, mental health, middle age, social anxiety, society, stigma, suicide, TEDx, torture | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment