Category Archives: childhood terror

The Mystery of my Childhood OCD

There’s a part of my childhood I don’t talk about much, but I always wonder about it. My major diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. After a lifetime of misdiagnosis, I can accept that and work to mitigate what it does … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, existential dread, fear, growing up, hyper-vigilance, OCD | Tagged , | 1 Comment

A funny thing happened on the way to the communion rail. . .

I officially received my First Holy Communion (Catholic capitals) on April 17, 1971. I unofficially received it a few months earlier. And my mother damn near killed my dad over it. First, my mom was a cradle Catholic and a … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholic school, Catholicism, childhood terror, faith, fear, growing up, mental health, mom, my father, shame, When we were very young | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Blessed

We received another one of those nice photographs of a family we used to know in another state out west. I had to admit they are a fine-looking bunch – mom and dad, preternaturally young looking despite their middle age, … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Amazon, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholicism, childhood terror, Christianity, Christmas, holidays, meds, mental health, parents, peace, PTSD, shame, stigma | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Voices from our Past: latest column from The Mighty

TODAY Why I Still Carry the Words of My Abusive Father as Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder Keith Gottschalk Contributor • 2 followers Follow Me Borderline Personality Disorder 87K followers Following ✓ Be firstBe first Stupid. Whiny. Spoiled. Lazy. For … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, bullying, childhood terror, children, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, fear, growing up, men, middle age, my father, parents, shame, stigma, The Mighty | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Requiem for my Borderline Brothers and Sisters

Since my diagnosis, I’ve tried to figure out two things based on reading and personal experience. The first is the origin of my Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). For most people, the origins are in traumatic incidents, most often in childhood. This … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, bullying, Catholic school, childhood terror, children, counseling, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, mental health, my father, parenting, shame, stigma, suicide, violence, When we were very young | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Echoes through the years

Big honking ass trigger warning: child abuse. “All these cold and rude Things that you do I suppose you do Because he belongs to you And instead of love And the feel of warmth You’ve given him these cuts And … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, children, fear, growing up, my father, parents, shame, violence, When we were very young | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

This (wasn’t) us

I’ve gotten hooked on a network TV show which almost never happens. You might have guessed by the title of this piece – ‘This is Us.’ I usually don’t watch this kind of schmaltz but I got hooked. Maybe it’s … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, getting old, growing up, mom, movies, my father, parenting, regret | Tagged | Leave a comment