Category Archives: childhood terror

An open letter to my dead father

Trigger warning: lots of them; read at your own risk. That young boy without a name anywhere I’d know his face.  In this city the kid’s my favorite.  I’ve seen him. I see him every day.  Seen him run outside … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, anxiety, bipolar, Catholic school, childhood terror, existential dread, growing up, mom, my father, parenting, parents | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sick Sick Sick

Sick, sick, sick. Everyone has suddenly come down with some kind of illness.  After having yesterday off, I find that several of my co-workers, who have been fighting various bugs, called in sick yesterday. My wife is hacking up a … Continue reading

Posted in Catholic school, Catholicism, chicken soup, childhood terror, fear, In Cold Blood, nuns, paranoia, Prize Movie, self care, sickness, terror | Leave a comment

Happy Bloody Thanksgiving!

The latest thing in journalism and sociology on the eve of Thanksgiving is writing ‘survival guides’ for dealing with relations who may not share your political beliefs. This isn’t anything new, but after this election, many familial relationships are turning … Continue reading

Posted in blood, childhood terror, donald trump, Facebook, football, hell, Julia Child, my father, Saturday Night Live, Thanksgiving, turkey | Leave a comment

Me and a tree

In the backyard there was a pine tree.    Where I used to sit on the roof. The tree is marked with an arrow. The pool was not there when I climbed it. On the trunk, some branches had been … Continue reading

Posted in Adventure!, Army, bipolar, childhood terror, country life, Ft. Jackson, hypomania, my father, parents, regret, shame, tree climbing, When we were very young | Leave a comment

Tears in the Rain

One afternoon in the first grade, I was on the bus heading home. I was about to learn a lesson in responsibility, actions and consequences but I didn’t know it. It was, as has been the case in much of … Continue reading

Posted in black lives matter, Charlotte, Chicago, childhood terror, children, death, existential dread, growing up, my father, parenting, parents, Paulo Coelho, Tulsa, violence, When we were very young | Leave a comment

Not Fade Away

Prelude: my ‘discipline’ handed down to me today was a written reprimand which is 1-2 steps away from a firing. After all the star-chamber proceedings all they had was what I said in jest originally to another co-worker. I’m going … Continue reading

Posted in Catholic school, childhood terror, death, depression, getting old, imprinting, men, middle age, my father, nuns, psychoanalysis, regret, Sinatra, work | Leave a comment

God Help the Sensitive Child

I hate the world today. . . Collateral damage of America’s bully culture Another of these stories – another dead child – a nine-year-old suicide-by-bullying. Make sure you read the local story which is linked to the Daily Mail. This … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, bullying, Catholic school, childhood terror, donald trump, my father, nuns, parenting, shame, stigma, suicide prevention awareness month | Leave a comment