Category Archives: depression

Who knows where the road will lead us. . .

Yesterday was our wedding anniversary. After another bad day at work we went to an overpriced gourmet burger joint and were sat in a part of the restaurant that had the ambiance of an industrial cafeteria in East Germany circa … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, existential dread, getting old, hyper-vigilance, meds, mental health, middle age, paranoia, regret, shame | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Digging Underground

In the event of something happening to me there is something I would like you all to see It’s just a photograph of someone that I knew Rarely a day goes by that I don’t wake up with a song … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, existential dread, fear, loneliness, mental health, music, over-analyze, paranoia, society, stigma, suicide | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

On My Own – from now on

What happens when your therapist takes the side of people who traumatized you? Therapy sessions can be a blur of words and reactions. Many times, I’ll be conscious of the clock and try to fit in everything I want to … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alternatives2018, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, counseling, depression, Mad Pride, mental health, paranoia, parenting, parents, Police, PTSD, shame, stigma | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Brain Busted

I was shaving my head the other night (you know, to get that cool bald look), when a thought struck me. Beneath this enormous dome of a head was a brain that plays tricks on me. My brain sometimes changes … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, depression, fear, getting old, mental health, middle age, mood swings, paranoia, self care | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Escape is impossible

My psychiatrist has recommended upping my daily dose of lamotrigine 50 mg. Why not? At my age I have been a 40-year experiment in the various effects of psychotropic medicine. What’s one little uppage of the dosage? She made this … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, Distractions, donald trump, existential dread, Facebook, fear, getting old, paranoia, self care, work | Tagged , | Leave a comment

We’re all on this lifeboat

What is a diagnosis of ‘mental illness?’ The quick and essentially correct answer, is the meeting of criteria for an illness is the DSM V. In addition, mental health professionals can make ‘educated guesses’ based on firsthand experience with a … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, books, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, counseling, death, depression, kindness, loneliness, peace, PTSD, self care, self-harm, society, stigma, suicide | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Trigger Warning – Foul Language

Yesterday, I visited my family doctor yesterday whom I haven’t seen since September. She was very interested in my BPD diagnosis and had felt that the previous diagnosis of Bipolar2 was pretty accurate based on the symptoms I had described … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, funny, mental health, Podcast, PTSD | Tagged , , | Leave a comment