Category Archives: existential dread

Nobody’s Hero

I recently connected on Facebook with another person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I had a knee jerk, judgmental reaction to what she wrote (yes, that’s so BPD) and she read it and politely called me on it. That incident … Continue reading

Posted in advice, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, existential dread, fear, ImNotAshamed, mental health, self care, shame, social anxiety, Social Media, society, stigma, The Mighty | Tagged | Leave a comment

Nowhere Man

OK, I will stay out of your conversation. When I come in and L is there, we exchange perfunctory ‘good mornings’ and then, perhaps some brief weather talk and that’s it – silence, punctuated by the soft tapping of computer … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, children, existential dread, hell, mental health, PTSD, regret, social anxiety, work | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Monsters

I’m home today having thrown my back out moving furniture. I would not say that I am bored but I’m pretty much couch-bound because I need to go back to work tomorrow as things were left hanging that require my … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, existential dread, mental health, paranoia, passion, society, Twilight Zone, writing | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Brain Weasels Attack!

Editor’s Note: I really can be quite humorous at times but lately, as you might have noticed, things have not been going well at all. I write the way I feel and I write, not on a schedule, but when … Continue reading

Posted in birthday, Borderline Personality Disorder, counseling, existential dread, growing up, meds, men, mom, my father, parenting, parents, PTSD, violence | Tagged , , | Leave a comment


I have a lot on my mind today. Although I have been working out and lost weight, I am experiencing periods of lightheadedness and shortness of breath doing light work, like waxing the car. I have a doctor’s appointment Monday. … Continue reading

Posted in advice, bipolar, depression, existential dread, gratitude, mood swings, stigma | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Drowning slowly

Brain fog. Depression. Tiredness. All part of my world for the last 48 hours. I take the same pills every day. I go through the same routines every day. I have been working out and for a while, the endorphins … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, death, depression, existential dread, PTSD, self care, shame, stigma, suicide | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

An open letter to my dead father

Trigger warning: lots of them; read at your own risk. That young boy without a name anywhere I’d know his face.  In this city the kid’s my favorite.  I’ve seen him. I see him every day.  Seen him run outside … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, anxiety, bipolar, Catholic school, childhood terror, existential dread, growing up, mom, my father, parenting, parents | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment