Category Archives: fear

The Voices from our Past: latest column from The Mighty

TODAY Why I Still Carry the Words of My Abusive Father as Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder Keith Gottschalk Contributor • 2 followers Follow Me Borderline Personality Disorder 87K followers Following ✓ Be firstBe first Stupid. Whiny. Spoiled. Lazy. For … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, bullying, childhood terror, children, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, fear, growing up, men, middle age, my father, parents, shame, stigma, The Mighty | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

On Turning 55

I turned 55 today.   I stood in a very cold garage smoking a high end cigar and drinking a maple bourbon and coke and listening to Sinatra’s ‘September of my Years’ and wondering what all my dead relatives would … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, birthday, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, fear, getting old, mental health, middle age, mom | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Echoes through the years

Big honking ass trigger warning: child abuse. “All these cold and rude Things that you do I suppose you do Because he belongs to you And instead of love And the feel of warmth You’ve given him these cuts And … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, children, fear, growing up, my father, parents, shame, violence, When we were very young | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

September of my Years

One day you turn around and it’s summer Next day you turn around and it’s fall And the springs and the winters of a lifetime Whatever happened to them all? – Frank Sinatra I never thought about getting old until … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, Catholic school, fear, getting old, men, mental health, middle age, passion | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nightmares of my Father and other things

I must write this out because I fear if I don’t this day could be worse than I’d imagined. I already clawed my way out of bed 10 minutes late, had a cup of coffee and a small bowl of … Continue reading

Posted in Amy Bleuel, anxiety, ativan, bipolar, fear, my father, parents, PTSD, suicide prevention awareness, violence | Leave a comment

Sappy Christmas Giving Plug

I’m waiting for the letter carrier. She’s a nice lady. I have a Christmas Card for her. It contains a $50 bill just like last year. She’s the only person we do this for. Lately, I know she’s bucking for … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, fear, gratitude, holidays, kindness | Leave a comment

Sick Sick Sick

Sick, sick, sick. Everyone has suddenly come down with some kind of illness.  After having yesterday off, I find that several of my co-workers, who have been fighting various bugs, called in sick yesterday. My wife is hacking up a … Continue reading

Posted in Catholic school, Catholicism, childhood terror, fear, nuns, paranoia, self care | Leave a comment