Category Archives: getting old

The Origins of a Crippling Fear

I was talking to my supervisor this morning. She went on a family camping trip over the weekend and now is sore. Her family had struck out from their campsite, exploring the nature preserve and saw some interesting land formations, … Continue reading

Posted in Adventure!, anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, Fat Shaming, fear, getting old, growing up, my father, regret, social anxiety, Wonder Years | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Brain Busted

I was shaving my head the other night (you know, to get that cool bald look), when a thought struck me. Beneath this enormous dome of a head was a brain that plays tricks on me. My brain sometimes changes … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, depression, fear, getting old, mental health, middle age, mood swings, paranoia, self care | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Paralyzed

So another day frozen to my desk not sure of what to do. My boss is back – she was sick yesterday and simply didn’t tell anyone. One of my co-workers emailed her in the morning and that’s the only … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, existential dread, fear, getting old, hyper-vigilance, mental health, self care, self-harm, shame, social anxiety | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Escape is impossible

My psychiatrist has recommended upping my daily dose of lamotrigine 50 mg. Why not? At my age I have been a 40-year experiment in the various effects of psychotropic medicine. What’s one little uppage of the dosage? She made this … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, Distractions, donald trump, existential dread, Facebook, fear, getting old, paranoia, self care, work | Tagged , | Leave a comment

It kills

I would like a place I could call my own Have a conversation on the telephone Wake up every day that would be a start I would not complain about my wounded heart Just wait till tomorrow I guess that’s … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholic school, Catholicism, Christianity, death, getting old, loneliness, mental health, middle age, social anxiety, suicide | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Old Crazy Writers Never Die . . .

I may submit further articles to The Mighty if I find what I call ‘universal subjects’ on Borderline Personality Disorder that haven’t already been covered to death by other writers. The last submission of mine wasn’t exactly greeted with great … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, books, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, children, depression, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, getting old, mental health, society, stigma, The Mighty, writing | Tagged , | Leave a comment

“She absolutely can’t sing”

re: My cousin (female) who I haven’t spoken to or seen in about 25 years about Stevie Nicks I’m sitting here nursing a sore back for the start of the third week, listening to Nicks’ first solo album. ‘After the … Continue reading

Posted in getting old, good memories, music, radio | 2 Comments