Category Archives: hyper-vigilance

Who knows where the road will lead us. . .

Yesterday was our wedding anniversary. After another bad day at work we went to an overpriced gourmet burger joint and were sat in a part of the restaurant that had the ambiance of an industrial cafeteria in East Germany circa … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, existential dread, getting old, hyper-vigilance, meds, mental health, middle age, paranoia, regret, shame | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Mystery of my Childhood OCD

There’s a part of my childhood I don’t talk about much, but I always wonder about it. My major diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. After a lifetime of misdiagnosis, I can accept that and work to mitigate what it does … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, existential dread, fear, growing up, hyper-vigilance, OCD | Tagged , | 1 Comment


So another day frozen to my desk not sure of what to do. My boss is back – she was sick yesterday and simply didn’t tell anyone. One of my co-workers emailed her in the morning and that’s the only … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, existential dread, fear, getting old, hyper-vigilance, mental health, self care, self-harm, shame, social anxiety | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Mania Alert! Stop Me Before I Create Again!

Well, this is one of THOSE days. No, not one of those days I wished I’d stayed in bed. Not a day to have a death grip on the computer desk while my fevered mind tries to make sense of … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, hyper-vigilance, hypomania, work, writing | Leave a comment

Spoon issues

Spoon theory, for the uninitiated, is a way for people with a host of behavioral issues to explain how they deal with stress. You are given a certain amount of spoons every day from the great spoon-giver. Each spoon represents … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, hyper-vigilance, hypomania, mental health, mood swings, spoon theory | 1 Comment

Hospital stay

Addendum: I need to mention something that may have gotten lost in this post – the staff, nurses and doctors at the hospital were first rate all the way and I am grateful for their care. I’m home after over … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, depression, Facebook, hyper-vigilance, mental health, work | Leave a comment

I Have A Little List

I have a piece of paper hanging taped to the support beam on my side desk.  Not MY petition but A petition I’m debating the good it does. It’s a debate that will go on for a while.’ The paper … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, bipolar, existential dread, hyper-vigilance, mental health, paranoia, social anxiety | Leave a comment