Category Archives: mental health

The Sins of the Father

I had, what for me, was a disturbing revelation a few days ago. I recently strained my rotator cuff in my right shoulder. I did it in my sleep, which is another story entirely. I was prescribed physical therapy and … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Catholic school, childhood terror, Facebook, growing up, mental health, my father, shame | Tagged , | 2 Comments

If you need me, I’ll be down here

All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players, They have their exits and entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, The day after Christmas. There was, as usual, a good deal of … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Christmas, death, depression, getting old, holidays, loneliness, mental health, middle age, New York City, radio, regret, social anxiety, When we were very young, Wonder Years | Leave a comment

A Different Drummer

Trigger warnings: news, politics. There’s a cute game people play around the holidays. Basically, the game is trying to avoid hearing any version of ‘Little Drummer Boy’ whether it be on the radio, TV, Internet or even office carolers. If … Continue reading

Posted in black lives matter, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Christianity, Christmas, donald trump, holidays, mental health, New York City, radio, society | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s been real . . .

I’m killing myself. I know this. Slowly but deliberately killing myself. I recently turned 56 and for the first time in my life I feel truly old. And I talked to my shrink and told her that it took 40 … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, bullshit, Catholicism, death, depression, EMDR, existential dread, Frank Sinatra, mental health, middle age, self-harm, social anxiety, Social Media, society, stigma, suicide | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Borderline Song

I think that Borderline PD deserves it’s own song. And it should be something Sinatra would sing – from the Great American Songbook. For those of you who may be a little young, the songbook encompasses most of the music … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, getting old, good memories, loneliness, mental health, middle age, mood swings, Poetry | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Toys

Tonight, I have something to look forward to – a new toy. I’ll be playing with Amazon Fire (ha – get it? Playing with fire!) on the basement TV. Another toy, another of a seemingly endless line of distractions from … Continue reading

Posted in Amazon, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, children, Distractions, loneliness, Mad Pride, meds, mental health, middle age, self care | Tagged | Leave a comment

Who knows where the road will lead us. . .

Yesterday was our wedding anniversary. After another bad day at work we went to an overpriced gourmet burger joint and were sat in a part of the restaurant that had the ambiance of an industrial cafeteria in East Germany circa … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, existential dread, getting old, hyper-vigilance, meds, mental health, middle age, paranoia, regret, shame | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment