Category Archives: mom

On Turning 55

I turned 55 today.   I stood in a very cold garage smoking a high end cigar and drinking a maple bourbon and coke and listening to Sinatra’s ‘September of my Years’ and wondering what all my dead relatives would … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, birthday, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, fear, getting old, mental health, middle age, mom | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Brain Weasels Attack!

Editor’s Note: I really can be quite humorous at times but lately, as you might have noticed, things have not been going well at all. I write the way I feel and I write, not on a schedule, but when … Continue reading

Posted in birthday, Borderline Personality Disorder, counseling, existential dread, growing up, meds, men, mom, my father, parenting, parents, PTSD, violence | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

This (wasn’t) us

I’ve gotten hooked on a network TV show which almost never happens. You might have guessed by the title of this piece – ‘This is Us.’ I usually don’t watch this kind of schmaltz but I got hooked. Maybe it’s … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, getting old, growing up, mom, movies, my father, parenting, regret | Tagged | Leave a comment

An open letter to my dead father

Trigger warning: lots of them; read at your own risk. That young boy without a name anywhere I’d know his face.  In this city the kid’s my favorite.  I’ve seen him. I see him every day.  Seen him run outside … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, anxiety, bipolar, Catholic school, childhood terror, existential dread, growing up, mom, my father, parenting, parents | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

From my mother on the occasion of my birthday

Hello Mom, This is about the time of the morning where I would get the call from you – the birthday call. Every year on my birthday I would get my special birthday wish from you. The main subject was … Continue reading

Posted in birthday, death, getting old, Heaven, mom, When we were very young | Leave a comment