Category Archives: mood swings

Flamebook for BPD

Facebook – the biggest double edged sword in the Borderline world. It’s almost like a fantasy realm – at least to me – where people I’d like to be like deign to interact with me. I can live vicariously through … Continue reading

Posted in advice, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Facebook, loneliness, mental health, mood swings, paranoia, Social Media, Twilight Zone | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Hitting for the Cycle in BPD

In baseball, hitting for the cycle is the accomplishment of one batter hitting a single, a double, a triple, and a home run in the same game. Collecting the hits in that order is known as a “natural cycle” – … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, baseball, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, counseling, mood swings, New York City, psychoanalysis, PTSD | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Aftermath of a bad trip

I’m in the last day of a four-day break. I needed it. I had three interviews for a job out of state. The first two interviews were electronic, the last was on site in Missouri where the agency shelled out … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, mental health, mood swings, self care, work | Tagged , | Leave a comment

If

I have a lot on my mind today. Although I have been working out and lost weight, I am experiencing periods of lightheadedness and shortness of breath doing light work, like waxing the car. I have a doctor’s appointment Monday. … Continue reading

Posted in advice, bipolar, depression, existential dread, gratitude, mood swings, stigma | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Mick Jagger Bogarted My Meds

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. I may have mentioned it before but there are stretches where I’m literally incapable of writing anything. It’s not that the muse isn’t present, it’s just that the will is … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, bipolar, blogging, depression, lexapro, meds, mood swings | Leave a comment

Vanilla Shit, mostly

Once again, today is almost a polar opposite of yesterday. I’m not necessarily depressed, just subdued and tired. I can’t explain it to anyone adequately. I don’t really understand how it happens myself; all I know is that if I … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, bullshit, counseling, death, depression, Fat Shaming, mood swings, self care, shame, work | Leave a comment

I Am (not) A Rock

Part of the life of most bipolar people is regretting not living the life they could have lived. In most respects this is caused by the illness – the inability to make a keep friends, jobs, other social contacts. But … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, bullying, Catholic school, Catholicism, class reunion, counseling, depression, getting old, good memories, mental health, mood swings, NAMI, nuns, spoon theory | Leave a comment