Category Archives: my father

What I’m Giving Up

I had just written 400 words into an MS Word document for a post today explaining my previous post and it disappeared. I’m used to being disappointed at this stage of my life so I didn’t put my fist through … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholic school, death, fear, getting old, ImNotAshamed, mental health, my father, parents, regret, self care, shame, social anxiety, suicide | Tagged | Leave a comment

The Sins of the Father

I had, what for me, was a disturbing revelation a few days ago. I recently strained my rotator cuff in my right shoulder. I did it in my sleep, which is another story entirely. I was prescribed physical therapy and … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Catholic school, childhood terror, Facebook, growing up, mental health, my father, shame | Tagged , | 2 Comments

A Window to the Past

Please come to Boston for the Springtime I’m stayin’ here with some friends and they’ve got lots of room You can sell your paintings on the sidewalk By a café where I hope to be workin’ soon Please come to … Continue reading

Posted in books, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholic school, childhood terror, growing up, mental health, my father, regret, suicide, When we were very young | Tagged | Leave a comment

The Origins of a Crippling Fear

I was talking to my supervisor this morning. She went on a family camping trip over the weekend and now is sore. Her family had struck out from their campsite, exploring the nature preserve and saw some interesting land formations, … Continue reading

Posted in Adventure!, anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, Fat Shaming, fear, getting old, growing up, my father, regret, social anxiety, Wonder Years | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Catch I’ll Never Have

The local classical station plays movie music late Saturday mornings. I was listening to it just now and the theme from ‘Field of Dreams’ came on. And I, as I reflexively do when it plays, started to tear up. The … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, children, growing up, my father, parenting, parents, peace, regret | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Podcast 5: Manning up or man down?

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month and I talk about a ‘Men’s Health’ magazine story about how the strong and silent shtick is killing men. Also, you may be able to go to your shrink and ask for some Molly (ecstasy) … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, ImNotAshamed, men, mental health, Mental Health Month, my father, Podcast, self care, stigma, suicide prevention awareness | Leave a comment

On ‘manning up’ and emotions

I think the thing my father hated most about me was that I started expressing my feelings at a very young age. And to him, they were all the wrong feelings. They were the feelings of a kid raised on … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, children, fear, men, mental health, Mental Health Month, my father, parenting, shame, stigma | Tagged , , | Leave a comment