Category Archives: my father

The Origins of a Crippling Fear

I was talking to my supervisor this morning. She went on a family camping trip over the weekend and now is sore. Her family had struck out from their campsite, exploring the nature preserve and saw some interesting land formations, … Continue reading

Posted in Adventure!, anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, Fat Shaming, fear, getting old, growing up, my father, regret, social anxiety, Wonder Years | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Catch I’ll Never Have

The local classical station plays movie music late Saturday mornings. I was listening to it just now and the theme from ‘Field of Dreams’ came on. And I, as I reflexively do when it plays, started to tear up. The … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, children, growing up, my father, parenting, parents, peace, regret | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Podcast 5: Manning up or man down?

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month and I talk about a ‘Men’s Health’ magazine story about how the strong and silent shtick is killing men. Also, you may be able to go to your shrink and ask for some Molly (ecstasy) … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, ImNotAshamed, men, mental health, Mental Health Month, my father, Podcast, self care, stigma, suicide prevention awareness | Leave a comment

On ‘manning up’ and emotions

I think the thing my father hated most about me was that I started expressing my feelings at a very young age. And to him, they were all the wrong feelings. They were the feelings of a kid raised on … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, children, fear, men, mental health, Mental Health Month, my father, parenting, shame, stigma | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

A funny thing happened on the way to the communion rail. . .

I officially received my First Holy Communion (Catholic capitals) on April 17, 1971. I unofficially received it a few months earlier. And my mother damn near killed my dad over it. First, my mom was a cradle Catholic and a … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholic school, Catholicism, childhood terror, faith, fear, growing up, mental health, mom, my father, shame, When we were very young | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Hey kid, don’t get a ‘big head’

I read this article in The Mighty: 21 ‘Harmless’ Comments People Heard Growing Up That Affect Their Mental Health Now by Juliette Virzi. Of the 21, I recognized several that were used on me. Many of the 21 are real … Continue reading

Posted in advice, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholic school, Catholicism, children, growing up, mental health, mom, my father, parenting, parents, regret, The Mighty | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Send my regrets

This one is purely personal. So this morning, home because of the weather, I watched last night’s This is Us. And I found out my second cousin who I went to high school with had died. I hadn’t seen him … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Catholic school, children, class reunion, getting old, growing up, mental health, music, my father, parents, regret, Springsteen, When we were very young | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments