Category Archives: paranoia

Brain Busted

I was shaving my head the other night (you know, to get that cool bald look), when a thought struck me. Beneath this enormous dome of a head was a brain that plays tricks on me. My brain sometimes changes … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, depression, fear, getting old, mental health, middle age, mood swings, paranoia, self care | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Escape is impossible

My psychiatrist has recommended upping my daily dose of lamotrigine 50 mg. Why not? At my age I have been a 40-year experiment in the various effects of psychotropic medicine. What’s one little uppage of the dosage? She made this … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, Distractions, donald trump, existential dread, Facebook, fear, getting old, paranoia, self care, work | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Flamebook for BPD

Facebook – the biggest double edged sword in the Borderline world. It’s almost like a fantasy realm – at least to me – where people I’d like to be like deign to interact with me. I can live vicariously through … Continue reading

Posted in advice, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Facebook, loneliness, mental health, mood swings, paranoia, Social Media, Twilight Zone | Tagged , | Leave a comment

The Monsters

I’m home today having thrown my back out moving furniture. I would not say that I am bored but I’m pretty much couch-bound because I need to go back to work tomorrow as things were left hanging that require my … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, existential dread, mental health, paranoia, passion, society, Twilight Zone, writing | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

High Anxiety

The reactions to my Monday therapy experience have not gone away. This morning I was as nervous as I’ve been in many a month. I don’t get it. Maybe a therapist could tell me. For two weeks, I unpacked some … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, bipolar, meds, paranoia, PTSD | Leave a comment

Sick Sick Sick

Sick, sick, sick. Everyone has suddenly come down with some kind of illness.  After having yesterday off, I find that several of my co-workers, who have been fighting various bugs, called in sick yesterday. My wife is hacking up a … Continue reading

Posted in Catholic school, Catholicism, childhood terror, fear, nuns, paranoia, self care | Leave a comment

One Cup, Two Americas

It has come to this. Story link: Daily Mail: ‘Coffee should not come with political brainwashing!’ Anger at Starbucks over green ‘unity’ cups that coincide with the election as customers demand traditional holiday designs Bring us together. . . no, … Continue reading

Posted in growing up, paranoia, society | Leave a comment