Category Archives: PTSD

Control

The meltdown on Wednesday followed a predictable pattern. It’s simple – I was already tired and experiencing anxiety and then I almost got into an accident in an unfamiliar city. When I arrived at work, I faced a mountain of … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, getting old, mental health, paranoia, PTSD, shame, social anxiety, stigma | 1 Comment

Cover me

It’s been difficult to adjust. I didn’t anticipate the nervousness, the fear, the anxiety. I guess it was from the loss of the familiar, or that I took the familiar for granted. It was supposed to be an adventure, this … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, depression, existential dread, fear, loneliness, meds, mental health, over-analyze, PTSD, social anxiety | Leave a comment

EMDR: The Last Frontier

Now what? Monday at 5 p.m. I will meet psychologist number 33. Note: I had to kick the total up after committing myself to recalling every therapist I have seen in Pittsburgh. The final number, eight, surprised me. Eight in … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, counseling, EMDR, psychoanalysis, PTSD, Uncategorized | Tagged , ,

On My Own – from now on

What happens when your therapist takes the side of people who traumatized you? Therapy sessions can be a blur of words and reactions. Many times, I’ll be conscious of the clock and try to fit in everything I want to … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alternatives2018, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, counseling, depression, Mad Pride, mental health, paranoia, parenting, parents, Police, PTSD, shame, stigma | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Poem: to my once and future supervisor

I have never really written a poem before. Until now. I was reading about a poetry class handling a slur a student wrote into their poem. And something came over me and I wrote this in James Dickey style (with … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, fear, Poetry, PTSD, work, writing | Tagged , | Leave a comment

We’re all on this lifeboat

What is a diagnosis of ‘mental illness?’ The quick and essentially correct answer, is the meeting of criteria for an illness is the DSM V. In addition, mental health professionals can make ‘educated guesses’ based on firsthand experience with a … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, books, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, counseling, death, depression, kindness, loneliness, peace, PTSD, self care, self-harm, society, stigma, suicide | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Trigger Warning – Foul Language

Yesterday, I visited my family doctor yesterday whom I haven’t seen since September. She was very interested in my BPD diagnosis and had felt that the previous diagnosis of Bipolar2 was pretty accurate based on the symptoms I had described … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, funny, mental health, Podcast, PTSD | Tagged , , | Leave a comment