Category Archives: regret

The Origins of a Crippling Fear

I was talking to my supervisor this morning. She went on a family camping trip over the weekend and now is sore. Her family had struck out from their campsite, exploring the nature preserve and saw some interesting land formations, … Continue reading

Posted in Adventure!, anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, Fat Shaming, fear, getting old, growing up, my father, regret, social anxiety, Wonder Years | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Catch I’ll Never Have

The local classical station plays movie music late Saturday mornings. I was listening to it just now and the theme from ‘Field of Dreams’ came on. And I, as I reflexively do when it plays, started to tear up. The … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, children, growing up, my father, parenting, parents, peace, regret | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

For a Moment to be Ourselves

Last night, the madness group (or ‘mental health’ group if you prefer) staged an Open Mic Night where several people including four very talented teenagers, shared their personal stories. This was part of an overall effort to allow these voices … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, ImNotAshamed, Mad Pride, paranoia, Poetry, regret, shame, society, stigma, work | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Making all his Nowhere Plans

“What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” ― Kurt Vonnegut On online writer friend recently wrote … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, books, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, factory of sadness, growing up, loneliness, mental health, middle age, regret, Social Media, society | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Nowhere Man

OK, I will stay out of your conversation. When I come in and L is there, we exchange perfunctory ‘good mornings’ and then, perhaps some brief weather talk and that’s it – silence, punctuated by the soft tapping of computer … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, children, existential dread, hell, mental health, PTSD, regret, social anxiety, work | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Hey kid, don’t get a ‘big head’

I read this article in The Mighty: 21 ‘Harmless’ Comments People Heard Growing Up That Affect Their Mental Health Now by Juliette Virzi. Of the 21, I recognized several that were used on me. Many of the 21 are real … Continue reading

Posted in advice, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholic school, Catholicism, children, growing up, mental health, mom, my father, parenting, parents, regret, The Mighty | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Send my regrets

This one is purely personal. So this morning, home because of the weather, I watched last night’s This is Us. And I found out my second cousin who I went to high school with had died. I hadn’t seen him … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Catholic school, children, class reunion, getting old, growing up, mental health, music, my father, parents, regret, Springsteen, When we were very young | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments