Category Archives: social anxiety

If you need me, I’ll be down here

All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players, They have their exits and entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, The day after Christmas. There was, as usual, a good deal of … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Christmas, death, depression, getting old, holidays, loneliness, mental health, middle age, New York City, radio, regret, social anxiety, When we were very young, Wonder Years | Leave a comment

It’s been real . . .

I’m killing myself. I know this. Slowly but deliberately killing myself. I recently turned 56 and for the first time in my life I feel truly old. And I talked to my shrink and told her that it took 40 … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, bullshit, Catholicism, death, depression, EMDR, existential dread, Frank Sinatra, mental health, middle age, self-harm, social anxiety, Social Media, society, stigma, suicide | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Unbearable Heaviness of Meeting

I’ve been busy at work lately. I get home and I collapse. The work is actually ‘good’ work – going out, interviewing, taking photos, getting my stuff on Facebook. Good times, right? Not quite. Today we had a group of … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, self care, social anxiety, work | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Origins of a Crippling Fear

I was talking to my supervisor this morning. She went on a family camping trip over the weekend and now is sore. Her family had struck out from their campsite, exploring the nature preserve and saw some interesting land formations, … Continue reading

Posted in Adventure!, anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, Fat Shaming, fear, getting old, growing up, my father, regret, social anxiety, Wonder Years | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Paralyzed

So another day frozen to my desk not sure of what to do. My boss is back – she was sick yesterday and simply didn’t tell anyone. One of my co-workers emailed her in the morning and that’s the only … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, ativan, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, existential dread, fear, getting old, hyper-vigilance, mental health, self care, self-harm, shame, social anxiety | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

It kills

I would like a place I could call my own Have a conversation on the telephone Wake up every day that would be a start I would not complain about my wounded heart Just wait till tomorrow I guess that’s … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Catholic school, Catholicism, Christianity, death, getting old, loneliness, mental health, middle age, social anxiety, suicide | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Nobody’s Hero

I recently connected on Facebook with another person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I had a knee jerk, judgmental reaction to what she wrote (yes, that’s so BPD) and she read it and politely called me on it. That incident … Continue reading

Posted in advice, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, existential dread, fear, ImNotAshamed, mental health, self care, shame, social anxiety, Social Media, society, stigma, The Mighty | Tagged | Leave a comment