Category Archives: violence

Requiem for my Borderline Brothers and Sisters

Since my diagnosis, I’ve tried to figure out two things based on reading and personal experience. The first is the origin of my Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). For most people, the origins are in traumatic incidents, most often in childhood. This … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, bullying, Catholic school, childhood terror, children, counseling, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, mental health, my father, parenting, shame, stigma, suicide, violence, When we were very young | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Brain Weasels Attack!

Editor’s Note: I really can be quite humorous at times but lately, as you might have noticed, things have not been going well at all. I write the way I feel and I write, not on a schedule, but when … Continue reading

Posted in birthday, Borderline Personality Disorder, counseling, existential dread, growing up, meds, men, mom, my father, parenting, parents, PTSD, violence | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Echoes through the years

Big honking ass trigger warning: child abuse. “All these cold and rude Things that you do I suppose you do Because he belongs to you And instead of love And the feel of warmth You’ve given him these cuts And … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, children, fear, growing up, my father, parents, shame, violence, When we were very young | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Nightmares of my Father and other things

I must write this out because I fear if I don’t this day could be worse than I’d imagined. I already clawed my way out of bed 10 minutes late, had a cup of coffee and a small bowl of … Continue reading

Posted in Amy Bleuel, anxiety, ativan, bipolar, fear, my father, parents, PTSD, suicide prevention awareness, violence | Leave a comment

No happy endings

I was able to get out of bed this morning which will probably be my accomplishment of the day. I didn’t want to. For the first time in my life, I knew I could, and wanted to, lay there all … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, death, depression, existential dread, getting old, regret, stigma, violence | Leave a comment

Suicidal Ideation? Keep your mouth shut!

I’ve just read something that has made me so mad, I’ve actually gotten chest pains and shortness of breath. A University Is Threatening to Punish Students Who Discuss Their Suicidal Thoughts With Friends The school is Northern Michigan University. The … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, counseling, depression, mental health, suicide, suicide prevention awareness month, violence | Leave a comment

Tears in the Rain

One afternoon in the first grade, I was on the bus heading home. I was about to learn a lesson in responsibility, actions and consequences but I didn’t know it. It was, as has been the case in much of … Continue reading

Posted in black lives matter, childhood terror, children, death, existential dread, growing up, my father, parenting, parents, violence, When we were very young | Leave a comment