Category Archives: work

For a Moment to be Ourselves

Last night, the madness group (or ‘mental health’ group if you prefer) staged an Open Mic Night where several people including four very talented teenagers, shared their personal stories. This was part of an overall effort to allow these voices … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, childhood terror, ImNotAshamed, Mad Pride, paranoia, Poetry, regret, shame, society, stigma, work | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Escape is impossible

My psychiatrist has recommended upping my daily dose of lamotrigine 50 mg. Why not? At my age I have been a 40-year experiment in the various effects of psychotropic medicine. What’s one little uppage of the dosage? She made this … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, death, depression, Distractions, donald trump, existential dread, Facebook, fear, getting old, paranoia, self care, work | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Poem: to my once and future supervisor

I have never really written a poem before. Until now. I was reading about a poetry class handling a slur a student wrote into their poem. And something came over me and I wrote this in James Dickey style (with … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, fear, Poetry, PTSD, work, writing | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Nowhere Man

OK, I will stay out of your conversation. When I come in and L is there, we exchange perfunctory ‘good mornings’ and then, perhaps some brief weather talk and that’s it – silence, punctuated by the soft tapping of computer … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, children, existential dread, hell, mental health, PTSD, regret, social anxiety, work | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Tales of the office neurotic

I’ve had bouts of anxiety lately. I have no good reason – but anxiety never really needs a reason – sometimes it just presents itself. I don’t know whether it shows a lot – I have no idea what I … Continue reading

Posted in advice, anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, counseling, holidays, mental health, shame, stigma, work | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

I Don’t Know How I Do It

Do you ever just do something because you’ve been doing it all your life and know that you have to so even though you’ve grown to hate it, you do it anyway? Yeah, work. Having been a member of this … Continue reading

Posted in advice, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, mental health, middle age, regret, work | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Aftermath of a bad trip

I’m in the last day of a four-day break. I needed it. I had three interviews for a job out of state. The first two interviews were electronic, the last was on site in Missouri where the agency shelled out … Continue reading

Posted in bipolar, mental health, mood swings, self care, work | Tagged , | Leave a comment